Meanderings

And the beat goes on…

Behind the scenes I’ve been working on a lot which is reflective I think of what I am finding is important to me, what I want to carry on with and where I’m going when it comes to Roawenwood.

I love this place.

It sings to me. It is the first place I really worked on and created all those years ago to show some of who I am, what I like, build… share… extend all those things. It’s really shaped me into who I am today.

The confidence, the drive, the ability to create something from nothing. Little pixels gathered together to make creative content that other people can immerse themselves in and enjoy.

There’s always been that selling hook, the things that we do to make a buck or all the events that I got involved in trying my damnedest to keep up. To remain relevant.

Sometimes I’d forget where I was along the way and sometimes I would end up just being a little crazy, or a little too withdrawn. Life hasn’t been easy over the past 13 almost 14 years that I have been in SL. That’s crazy right there, that number. How long I have been involved in this world and created for it.

My focus now isn’t on what it used to be on, but what I want to achieve, what I want to give back has mellowed like a fine wine. I’m an old soul to begin with and maybe some of that is catching up to me as I want to share in a softer way. Not the crazy omg there’s another event and deadline we need to get moving! But more along the lines of, hey c’mere I got something to show you… and have it there at my home, at the sim so you can swing by to enjoy both the place that is much more than a store, and the stuff I create.

There’s SOOOOOOOOOOO much stuff. I mean if you dig in you can get lost for hours just trying to find things or look at items I’ve created over the years. I forget constantly what I’ve made, then realize wow… yea ok.

I was recently invited to an event… start up one… so hasn’t had it’s first round, and I was interested. An adult themed weekly one but they had a criteria to have only 100% original content in the entire store. Yea sure I could do that but do you KNOW how much content I have from over the years? Some of it is original, some of it uses legal resources from SL content creators, and some of it is collaborative. So no my store is not 100% original mesh that I made myself and it never probably will be. So even though I was invited originally to participate, and even if I promised I’d make the pieces for that event all mine they said no to my brand unless I retire all those other things.

I celebrate creativity and always thought why not showcase it all? Support the community, give back to keep the ball rolling around, and people will take advantage using content they shouldn’t or nudging into those grey areas or use resources from SL even if you try to keep it all 100% original. I’ve been around forever, no one wants to see the same textured prims redone over and over sure but even that doesn’t mean we don’t see the same items over and over. How many collars, how many skirts and knotted tops, sarongs, mini skirts, furniture pieces… how many times do we redo the same thing over and over just like in real life because there’s only so many ways to do it. It’s all about the style my friends, the style.

I know some creators who make what is available so unique to themselves that even though you know the mesh was created by someone else you only see them. Their ideas and creations, making them original. An example would be Alia Baroque, have you looked at some of the things he’s come up with for Libertine? Just beautiful and there’s no way you can’t tell me that that isn’t original. Do you know how much time and effort it takes to gather those pieces, to make them your own? I’ve gone into a mini-rant but essentially I think we shouldn’t be so freekin uptight. *laughs* Celebrate the artist, period.

This has become something of a hey… see where we’re headed sort of rambling post. My idea of waking up to have a cup of coffee with you all so we can talk for awhile. I have to get moving here in a few to start the rest of my day but if you’re game stick around.

I’ve been doing some good things to share and more will be upcoming.

Till then and next time. I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday.

Take care.

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So it’s done

Relatively speaking that is. There is always something to be done, or a place that can be changed. Tweaked. There’s always a thing that you think should be switched around or redone however….

With all of that being said….

The sim is “done”.

The build is open for business, and for your viewing pleasure. There’s a lot to this particular build and it isn’t going to really change much anytime soon. There’s a bit of story, lore and history to it.

It’s really magnificent in my opinion. I love it. I know it isn’t the easiest for shopping. I also know there are a lot of changes to it that will make some shoppers wince. Vendors and things… spaced apart, sections all over but damn…. Sometimes flying through. Or finding a really pretty little spot to overlook the waterfalls. The spots that lead up and out on those massive stairs with beauty just swallowing you up whole and immersing you in a different world.

This is part of my world. The world I wanted to share. It is a crossroads sort of build. It isn’t here nor there. It isn’t above ground but it isn’t entirely below ground either.

Caves, and dark spots with mushrooms glowing, crystals shimmering all the while magic carpets of ivy and grass bring color into a world that could be dark but isn’t. The sun shining down over the top of the world that has been created. Trees, bushes and butterflies. Massive waterfalls to the depths below while cliffs rise from the ground.

This isn’t just a store and it never will be again. It’s something more, it’s a safe place. A place of healing, a place of solitude and serenity.

I hope you will share it. I want people to just come, I want them to come even if they never spend a single solitary linden. I want people to experience it and enjoy it. That’s what this life is all about and if people find in it what I did. If people can use it as a crossroads within their life to find the light as they struggle to come out of the darkness……

Well then…..

Then there are no real words to express what I’m thinking or feeling.

Come visit. Wander the misty pools that glimmer and breathe.

Welcome to the Roawenwood.

Teleport to the Sim


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Building of a temple…

Obviously lately I am feeling like a story teller. Really though this isn’t all that different from where I began or who I am anyhow. I’ve always liked to tell stories.

To entertain, to talk. Sometimes I talk too much which would surprise some of you since I’ve become so very quiet too.

I am working on so many things at the moment that my plate isn’t just full, it’s overflowing. A lot of really good things too both in world and in the real world. It’s been an amazing summer so far even though there was a hitch with the spring. It never wanted to end. A LOT of rain. My backyard is more like a swampy pond area than a backyard this year but it’s been good.

When I am in world I can be found working mostly and I’ve been in more lately than in recent history. I’ve found my footing I think. Where I want to be and who I want to be. Finally.

Instead of worrying about if my store build is going to be this or that or will be good for shopping. Worrying who it will annoy if I make it how I like, or what kind of business I might get… I would get obsessive about these little pieces. The little details, over thinking every little thing. Not letting the artist shine, not putting to rest the less important things.

So I’m building my temple.

I’m going to share it with you all. One of my big shares. Some of you will recognize parts of it when you come after it is complete. It has it’s own history already. It’s own lore if you will.

Stories, legends and myths surrounding what it is, and it is glorious for that. A build with feeling, life, and sentiment. I couldn’t let it go, and I don’t think it was meant to be let go. Not yet.

A tiny bubble in the online world kept but modified. I have been thinking about releasing all the lore and stories as part of the re-opening process or just in general.

It seems like a fine way to begin the celebration that is my 13 years in Second Life and you’re all invited. I may not throw really big parties but I am celebrating and I am going to be doing a lot of little things I think to commemorate this milestone throughout the course of the rest of this year.

I get to say I’m a teenager again!

I was hell the first time around, wonder what’s in store this time.

Much love and talk to you soon.

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Did you know….

That Roawenwood started out in a garage sale?

Way back in 2006-2007 one of the ways that people made a little bit of spending cash was the garage/yard sales. You could have a small little spot usually costing nothing where you could rezz a couple things.

I rented from Anshe Chung. She was THE name for rentals. She was essentially the land baron that owned it all and one of the perks was they had a garage sale for its residents, if you rented from her you could put out stuff in this sand box sort of thing. Anywhere. Just… drop it.

It was a huge mess with a ton of really bad builds but it was where I started oh so long ago. I was so nervous… Putting myself out there, creating. There was another one I frequented to put out a build or two owned by a private citizen.

I would find them, and put out little pieces. My very first ones were sun bathing towels with a few animations in them, a sun lounger with an umbrella. Though the term animation is used loosely. They were usually poses. Stiff and unyielding… at the time very hard to find, and IF you found actual animations that moved you moved heaven and earth to get them because damnit, they weren’t really available. The sun lounger did pretty good actually.

It was a simpler time, kind of. Most of the time people didn’t ask for much. And once a week or so the garage sale would be wiped clean, all the prims returned and I’d have to go back. Lay it out again, and wait to see what would happen. Trying to find a little spot in the sand.

Of course… it wasn’t Roawenwood then, and we are still a little bit away from where I actually had a “store” or land for it but that is how it all began.

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The Weaver

Good evening, good morning, or whatever it is you are experiencing at this particular moment.

You know when I write these announcements, store things and little blurbs one of the things I hear from people time and time again is that they enjoy them because it just feels like I’m talking to them. Like two old friends sitting down to share a cup of coffee in the morning. Nothing special, but it feels familiar and comfortable even though we really don’t know each other and don’t really converse outside of these little things I ramble on about with you. I approach my store and my life much like this everywhere. I share and give and show people who I am often. It isn’t all just business though that is far too often the case.

Today, sit with me at my table and pour yourself a cup of coffee or hot chocolate if you prefer as I reminisce wrapping your hands around the warm mug so that you can sip, listening quietly as I give into the desire to share with you. Fair warning… writing can be at times part of my healing process, *laughs softly*

This past weekend my grandmother died. She was 86 years old and one hell of a crazy person. A mixture of cruelty and genius depending on what side you knew of her. Right after Thanksgiving we found out she had been in the hospital, and the morning of the 27th we found out she was on a downward spiral and in ICU. It wouldn’t be long we were told, they were just trying to keep her comfortable.

We made plans to go to see her, driving the 3 hours to pick up my mother to take her to the hospital so we could visit even though my grandmother had said to not come.  As we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital around 2 pm I received a text that she had passed. Stunned I blurted it out shocked and then felt something like panic raising not sure what to do and my mother just gasped as I had very unceremoniously announced that my grandmother might be gone already.  Luckily my husband swept in and took charge calmly. We went inside and asked to see her or what room she might be in. The instant look of compassion on all of the nurses at the station cementing what we already had been told they gently asked if anyone had talked to us yet.  She was still in her room and we were allowed to go in. A few family members were there and there was my grandmother in her bed propped up as if she was napping head turned to the side, sheet tucked up close to her shoulders.

Turning back to look at my husband tears gathering I could see the pain in his eyes as he took on some blame for not getting us there sooner telling me more with that look than any words might have expressed I struggled, swallowing trying to get around the lump in my throat as my mother began to cry.  Walking towards the bed I looked down at her wanting to touch her but afraid to. Her hair was almost pure white her face peaceful but for all intent looking as if she might wake any moment. Hesitantly reaching out I touched the side of her face stroking back along her hairline smoothing her hair for a moment my lips quivering… quietly caressing her face.

While the sadness crept in at the loss of this woman whom had meant more to me than I had realized, with all that she had done, and all that she had taught me I whispered softly to her, “Thank you….. thank you for all you did.“ And then finally as my hand moved from her hair to her forearm running from her wrist to her elbow, “I love you.”

Pulling back my hand to rest it upon the rail after a few moments at the side of the bed I looked down at her silently, studying her. Taking in each crevice and wrinkle knowing it would be the last I saw her. Stepping back my mother sitting nearby the priest came to pray over her while I held my mother letting her lean on me as she cried and my husband quietly stepping behind me to rest his hand on my shoulder.  Before we left after sitting a bit my mother unable to stay any longer I had to step back to the bed to reach out a final time afraid to leave just yet… and while sadness was there and is still at times overwhelming me quickly before I realize it whenever I think I will be ok I am so very grateful to have had those moments. There isn’t to be a funeral, or wake. A service at some point but I got to have something I didn’t think I would ever have.  I got to say good bye in one of the most intimate ways I can imagine. No I didn’t get to her before she passed but I got to say thank you, I got to tell her I love her, and I got to get that final memory before she was taken from us.

It made me very reflective on the woman she was and over the past week I have remembered more and more from my life and of her. Reliving things, smiling about them and in some ways settled.

Why have I shared all of this to you? People who barely know me and what does it have to do with my store or the item I made? How trivial it might seem but it isn’t… not to me. If you’ve gotten this far you will know soon enough why.

My grandmother was an amazingly creative woman. She did pottery, glass etching, made jewelry and did leatherworking. The rugs throughout her house were braided by her and her children when they were young. She made her own clothes, adored quilting, loved to arrange flowers, garden, and cook. She was a phenomenal cook and the smells as she actually cooked things on the wood stove were amazing.  She taught me to sew, to crochet, tried to teach me to knit, and all sorts of things.  I learned my love for antiques from her, for finding hidden treasures, and even some of my giving nature.

What you see in my store is very much influenced by things I created, learned or did growing up around my grandparents. From splitting wood, taking care of the farm, to sewing, to…. Weaving.

She had a weaving studio… and these great big floor looms. They were so big and I remember spending time in her studio the fire burning in the stove while I carded wool or spun yarn as she sat at her bench. The shuttle moving back and forth her feet working the pedals beneath. This week I closed my eyes and could hear the loom in my head as I relived those moments and I just had to try to do something. The spools of thread, the shelves, the loom…. Something in me needed to do make it and as I worked the model and it came to life I could feel the catch in my throat.

I had intended on releasing something different and I still will but this round… I wanted to do something for my grandmother. So while I know it is only a model in a 3d world and one that needs some tweaking and fixes even, *laughs* I wanted to share it with you for a few moments.

weavers-collection-rp-set

You can go see it here:  WE <3 ROLE PLAY

Thank you for reminiscing with me, for sharing with me and I’ll do a normal store blurb in a different post because not everyone wants to read my lengthy stories but if you have, sincerely thank you. I hope you are well and remember those small moments, they really are the ones that matter the most.

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