Meanderings

The story of Yuale Nura and The Evensong Wood

You are in for a treat or not perhaps depending on your point of view but you are about to get a very rare and a very personal look into the persona who is Searlait Nitschke.  If not interested, *grins* then move along… later on you can find more product stuff, fun and bouncing like usual but for the moment…. there is a bit of a different goal in mind.

It is a familiar place for me now, the perch high above in the trees of Evensong Wood.  A favored place that I had created, my steps carrying me back and forth over the wooden structures that were first raised months ago, then changed… altered… their form taking shape over time as it came to me.  There is a story… of the elves, of a lady, slumbering beauty and the moon… little things I made up as I worked placing the characters I had created within the cold landscape breathing life into it as I went so I could see it.  Feel it.  Imagine it.  Yuale Nura and the wood became something more than just a sim to be built for Fantasy Faire.  I believe strongly in RFL anyways and Fantasy Faire allows me to meld things that are meaningful to me in one place.  Fantasy, imagination, creation and flights of fancy with a meaningful cause, the fight against a disease that has like so many other people insinuated its way into my life one way or another through the years.

Whenever I create something for RFL there is usually someone in mind.  Last year I was asked to do a 1/2 of a sim along the Relay for Life track, a decorative piece really.  The theme was something to do with time and I put together a piece with gears, time pieces and angels… with an alchemist hidden within the ruins, long struggling to find the cure but never giving up.  I created that for my other half…. clockwork angels, standing the test of time even as the rust creeps along the gears and statues.  I enjoyed that very much and could be found lounging within the rolling hills, flowers and trees there gazing up at one of the angels quietly.

This year when asked to do a Faire sim I couldn’t quite put my finger on what to do, tree city type was thrown around as an idea… I’ve always wanted to do it but never had the nerve to, challenge me and I tend to try it.  Then the idea of winter… I latched onto that and like I said in the interview for the faire, there is a time of the year that is very personal to me where I go out in the night when it is bitter bitter cold gazing up at a cloudless sky to breathe in the season while the tree branches creak bending within the frigid night… soft sounds, a light wind perhaps rustling what might be moved.  Wrapping my arms around me taking in the moments in a meditative sort of way.  I find it beautiful, invigorating, and awe inspiring, I wanted to try to get that across.

But then there is more… more to it, the part that I didn’t write about in the interview.

I said it was corny… it might be, never know what someone else will think of your personal thoughts, I don’t often extend them and why I am on the blog… eh, it’s because I like to write, it is a venting, a release, a way to place into words things that I might not otherwise utter. A sharing.  I have for years written things, but it is rarer and rarer that I put it forth.

Look up above the towering trees into the darkness surrounding us; like a blanket of sorts hiding what may or may not be seen within the brightness of the daylight… there… do you see it where the branches and foliage leave a small gap.  The smallest of windows, stars glistening within the wide expanse… the light shining from so far away and there…. the moon.  Round and full looking too big for the sky.  Hanging above us full of mystery and mysticism.  The snow sparkles beneath it within the night each step you take feeling as if you might be breaking sacred silence, the ice and snow crunching under your feet loud to your ears before we pause.

It’s cold… very cold.  Your breath hangs in the air as if it too wishes to linger within the frigid cold for a few extra moments.  I catch my breath as we gaze upwards together, the threat of tears shimmering in my eyes.

It’s beautiful isn’t it?   It is for my sons that I built this too…. he who cannot be with me… and for he who struggles, they gaze upon the moon for their own reasons pointing it out to me rather like I have pointed it out to you.  One from so long ago… whispers carried on the wind that can no longer be heard the voice lost to memory.  Then we look upon the moon wishing and hoping…  when I am gazing to the moon…. I think of you… my sons.  No matter where you are know that when you gaze upwards you are never alone, and in those moments perhaps there will be times when we are watching it together.  It was a promise I made years ago and one that I keep still this day and will continue.

I built this for you, for them, for relay, for imaginative flights of fancy, for somber reflection, for all those who know the pain of being separated from loved ones whether it is by choice or design or taken by a disease that haunts us.

I relay, and I fight…. and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this journey with me.  For traveling the sim, for donating, for giving time and energy to a cause that means so much to so many people.  This is why I create…. hoping to find the moments to share.  I am sad as the faire sims will be disappearing soon… I stand upon the walkways pacing back and forth not wanting to let it go… knowing it will soon be gone.  Gazing to the moon.  Though even as I lament the passing of this years Faire I already have begun to look forward wondering what magic will be brought about for the next chapter.  What people will see, what we will contribute… what beautiful wonders will be put on display next year.

Until then….

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Seriously? Talk about bad timing.

This morning my computer decided that I work it too hard and went on strike.

Literally… pop and die.  Completely toast.  Sooo…. while I do have back up protocols in effect there has been some issues.

One being…. I lost some files.

Customer service requests, saved texts and communications of recent note were not backed up sooooooooo if you don’t hear from me please please please get to me again.  I may have just lost things due to the untimely vacation of my main system.  I always try to get back to people and I tend to save things I’m working on out of world so I don’t lose them but erm… this doesn’t always obviously work either. *coughs*

Just a heads up.  If I seem a bit………. agitated.  You now know why.

 

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It’s been an interesting journey so far

Six years.

In October it will be 6 years since the Roawenwood opened its doors and I started up a small store with a few gazebos, torch type lights, a blood fountain, and some very bad Christmas decorations.  There was club décor that I worked on that was very cheesy along with some other things.  I didn’t know what direction I was going in but yanno… it was fun.  A set of deck or beach furniture was also a beginner’s favorite.  Recently I was cleaning up my inventory and I actually found some of my very very first pieces of furniture.  Can I just say…. Wow. For the time it was great, honestly.  But just wow.  I was wincing looking at it, you know like when you go back and look at year book photos from years past and you wonder what the hell people were thinking?  Scary… it was scary.  The other scary part is… it was still all in my inventory.  Hahahaha  But now it is safely packed away in boxes because I just couldn’t part with it.

I had almost thought about making up a mini lil museum as a smart ass thing.  Kind of like a blast from the past, wow can you believe we actually thought that was awesome, and look at those poseballs with static poses in them… so stiff!

*laughs*

Things certainly have changed though a bit remains the same.  I’ve been around too long and have seen the changes to the grid.  Every time someone thought the sky was falling and life as we knew it was coming to an end.  When gambling was banned from the grid, the daily griefer attacks that sometimes took the entire grid down for hours at a time.  The shut down weekly when LL updated with the gorillas on the website till it came back up, the mad rush when everyone logged back in afterwards and the inevitable crash or screw ups because of the mad rush back.

When sculpts were introduced, when age verification was, the advent of adult regions…. Windlight… flexi’s, curly hair, the overuse of bling!  When last names were taken though this one reminded me of when credit cards were no longer required as verification and free accounts were opened up way back when.  People resented anyone without payment info and didn’t trust them just like people at first especially didn’t quite trust someone without a last name.  (As an aside, I do think taking last names was dumb.  Even with display names)  You start to get a little immune to it, when a new something was introduced the initial agitation over it lessens and you take things as they come more often knowing that there will be foul ups, that’s just the way it is but it smoothes out usually.

I suppose this is me waxing nostalgic after all this time.

Keep your eyes peeled.  I have some things I want to do this October, as well as opening back up to the public.  Take care and thanks.  For the past 6 years of interesting times, I am quite grateful.

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Faire’s End

I’m writing because I had a few thoughts that I thought I would express about fantasy fair, bear with me because I have a tendency to become wordy.

I wanted to convey that this year I believe you all outdid yourselves in the planning, execution, presentation of and spirit that I associate with Relay for Life.  For the past 6 years I have been involved in RFL within my real life, helping where I can, supporting and doing what I can.  Every year I walk… usually all night long until the morning hours when they do the ceremonies to close the event.  Relay for me has become synonymous with community, support, love, and watching people work together towards a purpose.  I have lost people to cancer, had a few scares, and seen people recover from it.  When I found out years ago that RFL was within Second Life it was too late to join that year but the next I jumped at the opportunity.  I involved myself and did a fair or two only to be disheartened after the event turned into a bunch of back biting undermining attempts at one group to discredit, sabotage or take away their authority rather than working together.  I tried to make myself feel better with the thought that in the end RFL benefited and maybe the next year it would be better.  The next few attempts for me to be involved needless to say were rather unpleasant.  Shoddy workmanship, shoddy looking or half assed looking event venues, last minute thrown together events, lack of coordination, egos getting in the way and some of the worst parts being merchants/vendors becoming so obsessed with their placement, lack of sales, not giving items for donation… sometimes seeing the very worst of what I associate with online and how people treat each other coming to fruition all in the name of a cause I held dear to me.  Each year becoming more disenchanted and withdrawing.

I had heard about Fantasy Fair, I had not been.  I did not think I ‘fit’ in so I avoided it somewhat as a merchant.  Last year I decided to try to get into it nearly at the cutoff point barely making it in probably never really knowing when sign ups started figuring I’d give it a try.  At this point I didn’t expect much, generally expecting what I saw elsewhere… set up my spot, and watched.  Listened.  It is my nature to do so.  I was rather impressed with the spirit I saw.  I decided to do a jail and bail.  Didn’t expect to do much, didn’t know if anyone really knew me or not… knowing really that being ‘known’ for that sort of thing generally helps bring in money.  Didn’t do too bad, listened to Zander on the radio stream once or twice I think… watched some more.  I didn’t wander that much but I felt pretty good at the close of the fair.  I had seen a lot more positives, and was hopefully optimistic.

This year I decided I wanted to take a bigger part.  Got a spot, donated something for the auction… ran a little behind and scurried to try to come up with some things that I felt were decent.  I wandered more and became involved more, though I didn’t dare do something like a jail and bail.  I spent time drumming, flying around as my petite self, watched a rather interesting wedding, and saw a fallen god face first in a kiddie pool, giants, dragons, genies, tinies, petites, you name it… I went to some events, listened to the radio stream, felt welcomed and stood entranced.

The first time I went from one sim to the other I held my breath as each unfolded.  The scenery… the care taken… creating immersive and astounding environments where we could house our wares for a very temporary weeklong event.  I can be a very meticulous builder and I’ll be honest it is difficult to impress me sometimes.  I can pick apart a build easily, I can do a lot and I was very honestly blown away.  Seeing them excited me to be a part of it… As the fair continues to unfold there were moments that I will always treasure.  The exhibit with the paper boats that Khyle Sion did, reading the artists statement, being involved and sharing a paper boat… had me in tears.  I was able to share that with someone very dear to me who had lost a family member due to cancer less than two years ago and know that it meant a lot to them as well.  The outpouring from various people in the community, the camaraderie, the goofy parts, the fun parts, the awe inspiring and mundane… All of them combining to create a magical atmosphere.

You guys really pulled it off.  I am honored that I was able to be able to be a part of this year’s fair and to be able to contribute in any way…. I sincerely look forward to next year finding myself very much moved as well as quite sad that it was only a week long.  That the beauty created feels so fleeting not wanting to retreat back into work or the mundane and the ‘real world’ nasty parts of SL that always seem to weigh a person down.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of Fantasy Fair… I hope that next year I can be even more involved, get to know folks a bit better and help spread a little bit of magic of my own.

 

 

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Weekend Updates

This week saw the release of the Fortune Tellers set, redone with new scripts and things…. which just happens to be the weekly half off offer that I am doing for the Simply the Best group.  I’ve always really liked that set anyhow.  The colors and all… now it is more functional with new animations for reading Tarot along with the crystal ball.

The latest and greatest CoLab kit has been released.  This round is one that I found to be quite a bit of fun, I wish I had more out for it really.  It’s all about knights and things.  Right up my alley of course.  I created a chair that is made of both sculpts and mesh.  Yes… Mesh.  I know there is a love/hate thing going on around the grid with it but I do have fun playing with it and see a lot of potential.  The chair I think could make an awesome throne for the adult side and may end up being that with some tweaks.  I haven’t decided though the chair itself has some normal type relaxing poses for both men and women.  It is for the duration of the round at a cool 60L, then it either will raise in price or be retired.  I’m leaning towards retirement or an overhaul into something a little different… not sure.  So if you like it… you should get it just in case.  Besides, who can resist 60L?

Along with that little piece of goodness I have the 60L weekend thing going, the rose arbor repacked and all with copy permissions, and then the gardener’s pull cart.  I figured with the spring time and all it might be of use to someone.  I’m considering doing a bit of spring time deco type things for the outdoor section.  A greenhouse and such.  I’d like to at least.  Doing gardening or outdoor things can feel very zen like.  A sort of way to relax while I build.  Building overall does relax me.  Gives me a creative outlet and it is one reason that there is always so much stuff at my place.  It’s been a little bit rough lately…. I’m actually trying to do the unthinkable.  That being slowing down some.  I have been near to burning myself out trying to keep up with deadlines for events, hunts, or other things that while are beneficial really keep me from doing some of the projects or things I really want to do with my store in trying to prepare for all of those.

I began to feel like all I was doing was deadlines and things for other people, for other peoples ideas, or other peoples projects.  In all honesty that has to stop.  I want to refocus my place and I am well onto doing just that with getting back to what I consider my roots.  Creating for me, creating with the same intensity that I felt… also, pulling myself up from the ‘race’.  The race that wears me down to the point of questioning “why am I doing this?”  I love to make things, see the pieces come together, imagine people using it or creating a scene with it.  It’s one of my favorite things, I am in my own way quite reclusive and a hermit but that is one way of expression that is always a titillation.  So as far as up and coming product?  I’m getting a little more intent…. a little more of, ‘what can I do with this to make it even better, what can I do with this to make it really something to catch the imagination.’  I think I will always end up releasing and working on a lot of different projects but in the end I’m working towards a goal that I hope will reap benefits for not only myself but for you guys.

I don’t want to compromise anymore and I’m well on my way of working towards that goal as well.

I’m also, *inserts a gasp here* working on getting my place into a position where I can sort of stop working and have a ‘normal’ sort of thing going.  You know, not feel like I’m trying to constantly play catch up… maybe be able to spend time with people rather than just prims.  It’s a lot to ask for of course but it is something that I’m hoping for. *laughs*  I’m actually well on my way to that one too… been spending a lot more time offline, going back to the gym, hockey games, and all sorts of other things.  It feels good.  In fact, have you guys seen the latest Star Wars MMORPG? (Star Wars: The Old Republic) I’ve been hanging out in there some too, have a pretty bad ass Imperial Agent going, sniper chick.  She’s a lot of fun to play.  The game is quite immersive, quests given have actual conversation movie play where you interact not just a pop up box with a bunch of text.  Impressive if you’re into that sort of thing.  Graphically it looks good too.  Anyhow…. now that I’ve rambled on a bit and ya’ll have seen into what I think a bit… I’ll let you go and desist from my prattling.  Have a great weekend and talk to you soon.

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